[Question Solved] Examples of inscriptions for condolence gifts and thank-you letters
table of contents
- Introduction
- Two or three types of condolence gifts are available
- Guidelines for condolence gifts
- How to give a gift in return for a condolence gift
- Inscriptions used on condolence gifts
- Example of a letter of thanks to accompany a condolence gift
- When you don’t need to return the gift
- Letters of thanks for condolence money are a no-no
Introduction
Incense money is a token of condolence for the deceased, and was not originally meant to be given in return.
However, in modern times, the custom of giving "koden-gaeshi" (a gift in return for a condolence gift) as a token of appreciation to those who have given you a condolence gift has become established.
It is customary to give a gift in return for a funeral offering after the mourning period has ended.
In Buddhism, the standard is after the 35th or 49th day memorial service, and in Shintoism, after the 50th day memorial service. In Christianity, although it differs depending on the religion and sect, it is usually given after the memorial mass 30 days later or one month after the anniversary of the death.
A gift in return for a condolence donation is not simply a way of giving something in return, but a way to remember the deceased and cherish the connection with those who have offered their condolences.
We offer several types of condolence gifts
Condolence gifts are generally called "hankaeshi" (half-return gifts), and it is customary to give a gift that is about half to one-third the amount of the condolence money received.
Popular choices include everyday items such as tea, seaweed, sweets, towels, and gift catalogs, but generally speaking, it is preferable to give consumable items that can be used on a daily basis rather than expensive items that will last a long time.
This is because it is a prayer to prevent the misfortune from being repeated.
The value of the gift should vary depending on the amount of the condolence money received, but preparing gifts of different values for each person is time-consuming, so the common method is to prepare several types of gifts in advance and give different gifts depending on the amount of the condolence money.
Guidelines for condolence gifts
| In the case of a 3,000 yen condolence gift | 1,000 yen to 1,500 yen |
| In the case of a condolence gift of 5,000 yen | 1,500 yen to 2,500 yen |
| In the case of a 10,000 yen condolence gift | 2,000 yen to 2,000 yen |
How to give a gift in return for a condolence gift
When sending a condolence gift, be sure to include a wrapping paper with the surname of the bereaved family (you can write it as the "○○" family) or the full name of the chief mourner, and be sure to include a thank-you letter.
Black and white mizuhiki paper is generally used for the wrapping paper. The inscription on the front varies depending on the religion, but by writing "Shi" (aspirations), it can be used for any religion.
In the thank-you letter, express your gratitude for the incense money and condolences, and state that the memorial service was completed successfully.
The wording will vary depending on the religion, but companies and department stores that handle condolence gifts have sample wording for various sects, so you can use this as a reference.
It is useful to create a list using a guest book or something similar so that you can give a gift to everyone without missing anyone.
Inscriptions used on condolence gifts
| Ambition | For gifts in return for funeral offerings. A common inscription that can be used by any religion. |
| Kiakeshi | It is a Buddhist incense offering in return. It is given to express gratitude that the 35th and 49th days have passed. "Kimyo" has the same meaning. |
| Manchuin (full mourning period) | This is a Buddhist incense offering in return. It is used because the 49th day is called Manchuin. It is more polite to write "Manchuinshi". |
| Memorial grass | A Shinto-style gift in return for a condolence offering. It is sent after the 50th day festival. It can also be used as a "shinobi-gusa". |
| Chanoko | For Shinto funeral offerings. In the Kansai region, "chanoko" means "it's a small thing." It is also used for Buddhist offerings. |
| Greetings | Used for thank-you letters when receiving incense money, condolence telegrams, wreaths, etc. |
*The Mizuhiki is either black and white or double silver.
Example of a letter of thanks to accompany a condolence gift
Dear Sir/Madam
I am pleased to hear that you are in good health in the late autumn season.
I would like to express my sincere gratitude to you for taking time out of your busy schedule to attend my father's funeral, and for your heartwarming condolences and kind offerings.
As a token of our condolences, we would like to offer you a small gift at the end of this mourning period. Please accept it.
First of all, I would like to express my gratitude and greetings through this letter.
Sincerely,
When you don’t need to return the gift
Originally, condolence money was given to provide financial support to families who had suffered an unfortunate event.
Therefore, if you anticipate financial difficulties due to the death of the head of the household, you do not need to give a gift in return if you decline and say that the condolence money is for the children.
Also, if the deceased's wishes require the condolence money to be donated to a specific organization, there is no need to give a gift in return.
However, even in this case, you should still send a letter of thanks for attending the funeral, notifying the end of the mourning period, and mentioning that you have made a condolence donation. When reporting the donation, be sure to include the name of the donation recipient.
If a portion of the condolence money is donated, a small gift may be given in return.
Letters of thanks for condolence money are a no-no
The recipient of the gift does not need to send a thank-you letter.
Sending a thank-you letter in return for a condolence gift is considered rude, as it would be a repeat of an unfortunate gift.
However, in recent years, there has been an increase in cases where gifts are sent directly from department stores, etc., and some givers may want to express their gratitude.
In such cases, you can let the person know that you have received the condolence gift when you visit the deceased.
