If you are unsure about choosing flowers and offerings for the first time, here is an explanation of the types and etiquette

Introduction

At wakes and funerals, items placed before the altar to comfort the spirit of the deceased are called offerings (kumotsu), and flowers are called kuge or kyouka.

Originally, it was thought that if flowers or offerings were sent, no condolence money was necessary, but recently it has become common to bring a condolence gift.

Although it varies by region, flowers and offerings are often given by close relatives or friends of the deceased.

Either one or both are acceptable, but it is customary to wrap the condolence money separately.

Points to note when sending flowers and offerings

When sending flowers, be sure to check with the person in charge of the funeral or the funeral home before sending, as it depends on the sect and the funeral hall.

When it comes to offerings and fresh flowers to decorate the altar, you should arrange for them to arrive the day before for a funeral, or by the morning of the wake, taking into consideration the ease of decoration.

Also, since these are dedicated to the spirit of the deceased, the chief mourner and bereaved family members should prepare them as well.

Fresh flowers are often sent by relatives and close friends, while wreaths are often sent by business associates. In Buddhist ceremonies, offerings are generally incense, candles, fruit, and sweets, but sometimes gifts are given that the deceased liked.

In Shinto ceremonies, incense is not provided, and in Christian ceremonies, offerings are not given.

There are customs regarding offerings, so be sure to check with the bereaved family in advance.

Characteristics of fresh flowers and wreaths

Offering flowers not only serves to mourn the soul of the deceased, but also to decorate the altar.

If you call the funeral home to order, they will deliver it to you. The fee will be charged to you via invoice.

Send fresh flowers

Basically, fresh flowers are sent by individuals such as relatives and friends. They can be sent by a florist or the funeral parlor that will be holding the funeral.

If you are sending it at the wake, make sure it arrives in the morning on the day. Be careful not to delay your arrangements and disrupt the progress of the funeral.

The flowers used for fresh flowers vary depending on the religion of the deceased, so be sure to mention the sect when you request them. If the deceased had a favorite flower, it's a good idea to have it included. Roses, which have thorns, should not be used.

By the way, if the funeral is Christian and held in a church, Protestants only offer fresh flowers, so send fresh flowers. Catholics do not offer offerings at the altar, so if you want to send flowers, they will be delivered to your home.

Present a wreath

Wreaths that are lined up outside the venue are generally given when there are a large number of people, such as organizations such as a company, or "all the relatives" or "all the friends."

However, wreaths take up a lot of space, so they are often avoided these days. Be sure to check with the bereaved family or the person in charge of the bereaved home before sending one.

If you are able to place a wreath, contact the funeral home to arrange this.

Estimated price of flowers

It is common to ask the funeral home to arrange flowers for the funeral. Although there are some regional differences, the following amounts are generally required.

Fresh flowers: 15,000 to 30,000 yen
Wreaths: 15,000 to 20,000 yen

What is the decline of flowers and offerings?

The bereaved family may express their intention to decline to hold the funeral due to reasons such as their sect or the size of the venue where the funeral will be held.

If the bereaved family informs you that they would like to decline any offerings or flowers, you should refrain from sending flowers or offerings. In this case, it is okay to send a condolence gift.

On the other hand, if it says "We firmly decline any donations," it means that you will not be accepting any offerings, flowers, condolence money, etc. Even so, some people may feel reluctant to give at least a condolence gift, but you should respect the wishes of the bereaved family and not send anything at all.